Fatima Qadri

A reversion story by: Fatima Qadri(Previously Devon Harsel)

I was raised in a non-religious home in a small town in North Dakota, USA. My family claimed to be Christian but never went to church and only celebrated holidays. I never read the bible or knew how to worship God although I could always feel him in my heart.

My life before Islam seemed pretty much meaningless. I felt lost and without guidance. Life was materialistic and only about work and school. I had a somewhat troublesome youth. I got into trouble with the law on several occasions for underage drinking and eventually turned to drugs. In college I spiraled into a deep depression. I ended up dropping out and getting pregnant at 19. When my baby was six weeks old he almost died and this sent me deeper into depression. I ended up giving my baby up for adoption to my parents as I was not able to care for him financially etc.

I continued on my path of destruction and ended up in in-patient treatment for my alcoholism and depression. There I met the first Muslim in my life, Dr. Hatem Nour. He was an Egyptian man who became a mentor for me for the next couple years. At first I didn't have a clue he was Muslim but eventually found out he was. His voice reminded me of someone I'd met online a few years before so out of nowhere I decided to contact him. Imran, a Pakistani man, talked to me daily and encouraged me through my stay at the hospital. I asked him if he was Muslim and he said he was.

My curiousity grew and as soon as the hospital I went to the library to see if there were any books on Islam. The librarian said she didn't have any except one that someone had just dropped off. If was a short brief book that explained the basics of Islam.

Imran encouraged me to read more but I was a little confused. I had no clue what an Imam was and couldn't imagine why a woman couldn't wear a t-shirt. I didn't take it too seriously at first. He invited me to Belgium so I accepted as I wanted to get away from everything for awhile. This was my first experience with people of various cultures. I worked in a net cafe and met people of various nationalities.

I ended up going through some traumatic experiences. I was raped and had a forced abortian. I felt I had no where else to turn but God. I felt the need for hijab to protect me. I started studying Islam more and more and accepted Islam in my heart as my faith.

Things ended up not working out with Imran. I arranged to marry an Indian man in Abu Dhabi, UAE and traveled there to live. I officially took my Shahada. I was amazed at the beauty of Arabic culture and couldn't believe how friendly everyone was. Everyone smothered me with gifts and hospitality. People I never met before where being so nice and I couldn't understand why. It was a drastic difference from the people and life in America. I took a class to learn Arabic and continued to study. I traveled to Oman, India, and Pakistan and further experienced Islamic culture. I had the time of my life and will always remember it fondly.

Since Islam I've quit drinking alcohol completly. I've gained more confidence in myself. I owe alot of that to my hijab. I had to get over what others thought about me. My life now has meaning. I have strength because I know that whatever happens Allah subhanallah wa ta'ala is always there and I will always have the love of my brothers and sisters in Islam.

The End